Jill Rapley's Life Journal Notes » Search Results » forgive

The Wall Came Tumbling Down

Jill — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 02:56:56 +0000

Well no, it did not tumble down immediately, but today is the anniversary of the beginning of the demolishing of a very historic wall – the famous Berlin Wall.

Yes, on November 9th, 1989 the borders between the West and East sides of Germany were opened and then Berlin Wall began to be dismantled in the days that followed.

If you are a Baby Boomer, I am sure that you remember this day quite vividly. It was a great triumph for Germany and for all of the families involved. The division between them was being pulled down.

When I checked the news this morning and found that today is a significant anniversary for the world a question came to my mind:

What borders do you have in your life
that may need to come down?

We all put up barriers across the years as we go through different experiences in life. But borders are not always good.

Healthy Boundaries
You and I need to have healthy boundaries. After all your life was not designed to be Grand Central Station.

You have your own life purpose and your dreams and this is your first priority. Of course your immediate family will fit into your life purpose in different ways.

You have your own responsibilities and consequently your daily life is filled with priorities. In order to fulfill those responsibilities you need to set boundaries so that you can focus on your priorities.

Your real friends will respect those boundaries. In fact they too will have their own boundaries as they lead their lives which will also be driven by their WHYs (their life passions and dreams). Then the time you can spend with these friends will be so much more valuable and enriched.

Unhealthy Boundaries
The unhealthy boundaries and borders are the ones that need to come down. These are those barriers that you may have put up because of old hurts in your life.

These barriers are shutting out the wrong people in your life and will cause problems in your present relationships.

Here is a challenge for you today.
Take a few minutes to reflect on your life. Ask yourself the following two questions:

Do I have the right boundaries set in my life?

If not, make a decision to set them in place.
Do I have the wrong borders built up in my life?
If you do, make a decision to tear them down. The first step to being able to tear the wrong borders down is to forgive.

Forgiveness is a decision. You decide to forgive and release the other person or people from your life.

When you have the right boundaries set and have torn down the wrong borders, you will experience so much more freedom in your life.

Photo Credit

Why Do We Sabotage Ourselves?

Jill — Thu, 30 Sep 2010 02:37:38 +0000

Why would anyone in their right mind sabotage themselves?

This is a good question! Why WOULD you. Why WOULD I?

But all too often it happens just as you finally begin to see some results for your labors. You are just beginning to see your dream come true. Then WHAM, something happens to derail your progress and everything seems to fall to pieces.

What happened? Was it fate at work?
No, it was probably you at work? WHAT??

Yes, you and I do not really realize the power that our thoughts have over our lives.

What happened is that subconsciously you:

Don’t feel worthy of the success you were about to achieve.
Feel guilty for something, and consequently don’t feel you deserve this success.
Are afraid of success, of change or both. Success will separate you from much of your “old life” AND many of your friends. This can be a fearful thing.

These mindsets that are buried in your subconscious mind will jump out and stop you from achieving:

What you don’t think you are worthy of.
What you don’t think you deserve because you did something you feel guilty about.
A lifestyle you want but are afraid of. (for the reasons mentioned above).

How crazy is that?

How to stop sabotaging yourself

The first thing to do is to recognize that this is happening.
Now honestly ask yourself: Do I FEEL worthy of achieving my dreams?
Do I feel guilty about something. Could it be that I am punishing myself?
If you find this to be true, it is time to forgive yourself. It is so often easier to forgive others than it is forgive yourself. However this is a VERY important step.
Eliminate fear by making a decision to train your mind with FAITH.

Check out my articles Are You Building A Mindset Of Faith or a Mindset Of Fear? and Destroying Negative Imaginations Called Fear for more about how to train your mind with FAITH.

What Is Weighing You Down?

Jill — Sat, 29 May 2010 04:08:45 +0000

There is an interesting verse in the Bible found in Hebrews 12:1.

Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

Every time I read this chapter I imagine an athlete running in the Olympics, or sometimes even a race horse. (Racing is big in New Zealand)

Neither of these two champions are going to want to carry any excess baggage as they run towards their goals.

The lighter they are, the better chance they have of winning the race.

I know you would not think of trying to run a race while carrying a bag of weights either, right?

It is true that a race horse does often run with a handicap, which is usually something heavy.

But I am certain that you and I do not want to run the race of life
carrying any extra weight.

Yet all too often you and I fall into the trap of carrying excess baggage through life and wonder why it is such a struggle to push forward towards our dreams and goals.

Now of course I don’t mean that you are dragging a heavy case around with you. But there are some things that are equally as heavy, if not heavier than a case that you just might be trying to carry around without realizing it.

What sort of things can weigh you down and hold you back?

Lack of forgiveness and all of the emotions that come in this package.
This is one of the biggest “excess baggage” that people often carry around so much of their lives. Lack of forgiveness is a heavy weight, especially because of everything else it drags into your life.

Together with lack of forgiveness comes resentment,
anger, envy, jealousy, and vengeance.

I cannot count the number of times I have sensed blockages in the lives of people asking for prayer for sicknesses or situations in their lives. And so often when I would ask if they needed to forgive someone their reply would be: “I don’t have anything against anyone”. They were usually very sincere, but in denial.

This can be such a trap for us all. So how can you and I avoid the snare of carrying the weight of unforgiveness?

It is all about YOUR decision. Forgiveness is a decision. It is not an emotion (and it is not trust).

Let’s make this clear:

Forgiveness is a decision (YOUR decision).
Trust is earned. To forgive someone does NOT mean you consequently have to trust them again.

There are not too many guarantees in life, but here is one:
Offenses WILL come your way, and very likely every day.

Here is a good DAILY habit:
Decide daily that you are going to forgive any offense that comes your way. Yes EVERY day, before you start your day, make a decision to forgive.

It is always best to make such decisions before your emotions get involved. Then if something happens that is hurtful, the decision you have already made will take over instead of your emotions dominating the situation.

Remember: forgiveness is a decision. Decide to drop all of that excess baggage right now and be free to run lighter towards your dreams and goals.

Photo credit Runner 512 on Flickr